Goosed!

I took a ride on the Nun today, to the Harbor Freight in Dellwood, Missouri, in search of a 24mm combination wrench. When I pulled into the parking lot there was a jumble of cars in my way so I headed out to the far end of the parking lot to go around all the cagers. As I headed back toward the main drive in front of the stores I saw a large goose take off from there and head in my direction. Flying nearly the length of a football field this goose bee-lined toward me. I figured he'd veer or climb but he didn't, so I began to swerve to one side. He matched my move!

So I began to slow down and then ducked at the last instant as he struck me on the right shoulder. It was quite a blow. It was like being hit with a frozen turkey. I stopped and checked out the goose. He was a big sonovagun. He had his bill open and his tongue hanging out and he was making menacing faces at me. Bizarre.

I continued on my way and was stopped by a security woman in a patrol car who checked to see if I was OK. We were laughing and talking about the incident when she said "here come two more!" I turned and sure enough, two different enraged geese were threatening and approaching me from the other side. I said "I'd better go" and continued to Harbor Freight.

When I left the store I drove back to the first goose to see if he was alright. He had been holding one wing down after colliding with me. He began threatening me again so I decided to leave him alone. But when I started off he took to the air again and hit me in the left shoulder from behind, repeatedly thumping me with something (wings, feet, bill?). One point stung pretty good, despite my wearing a windbreaker, two sweatshirts and a T-shirt. I wish I'd been wearing my leather jacket.

I never saw geese act so crazy and I did an experiment on the way home. I drove through an office park that is full of geese and approached several groups and pairs of them. None of them wanted to mess with me. I'm sure the mated ganders would have threatened me if I was on foot, but on the bike I looked too big to mess with. Also, none of the dozens of geese in the office park were half the size of the one that attacked me.

Theories: 1. The big guy was a different and more aggressive subpecies (there are seven subspecies of Canada Goose and several related variants). 2. The big guy had a bad history with some motorcyclist. 3. The big guy mistook my black and white T100 for a huge rival goose. 4. You tell me.

I suggested to my wife that we go back and have her videotape another encounter, but she's chicken. Too bad. It would be interesting to see the mode of attack. I was too busy ducking to see it at the time.

I'm a big guy, the T100 is nearly 500 lbs and I'm a veteran rider who isn't easily spooked by animals. Plus, I was wearing a full-coverage helmet, leather gauntlets, high top boots and thermal overalls in addition to the above-mentioned clothes; so I was pretty well armored. I feel sorry for any skinny teenager on a sport bike wearing a T-shirt and sneakers who drives through that parking lot. He might get flattened by a giant goose.